This post is about the following essay, please read the essay first to understand my personal ramblings:
http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/
As a mother of two who has a career outside the home parts of this essay really resonated with me. I am familiar with Pinterest and I have a Facebook account and I read blogs like Pioneer Woman. All of these things do influence me. I had finally heard enough about Pinterest that I attempted to become a member, but, then I had to be invited and apply or something??? It all became too complicated and time consuming. Yes, filling out yet another online account is too time consuming in my world, but, I see enough Pinterest on Facebook to get the idea what it's about. More projects. I mean organizing my closets and junk drawers is on my list of to dos, but, making it so perfectly perfect, not likely. I think all this Pinterest and perfect domestic goddess stuff is ridden with more Mommy guilt. I already feel guilty that at the end of a long day I rarely cook and if I do it is something really simple, grilled chicken, frozen peas and baked potatoes would be a staple meal. Then I spend as much time as possible with my boys before getting them to bed by 8 p.m. and crashing in my bed at 8:15 p.m. Often the dishes aren't done and the laundry is in piles in the laundry room, but, in my exhaustion it just isn't a priority. I have goals of picture frames full of family pictures arranged aesthetically on a large wall in my home, it may happen some day. But, really what is more important, alphabetized spice racks or reading books and playing hide and seek with my two boys. My boys won't remember the dishes or the closets (well maybe they will and maybe they won't be the best housekeepers someday) but, we are sure they will know they were/are loved.
So, moms let's agree that we love the eye candy of these blogs and sites that show us how perfectly perfect our lives could be, but, that we will love our lives the way they are and just be moms to our children now while they need us more than ever. Because, really what our kids want is us.
4 comments:
I have a pinterest account, but I don't "browse" pinterest, if you know what I mean. There are certain blogs that I have on my google reader and when I see good kid activities there, I pin it so I have something to do with Rowan when she is home without the other kids and bored.
I was lamenting to Mike a couple of days ago, how much I hate how judgmental women are towards each other. I have what I consider to be a perfect job situation right now. I work anywhere between 5 and 35 hours a week. I would love to just be at home, but this was too good a deal to pass up. Well, the other day, I was away from home for 9+ hours because we had a court trial. It had been the longest amount of time I'd ever been away from Charlotte. Apparently, during dance class, another mom came up to the baby sitter who was holding Charlotte and commented on how horrible it was that I was at work all day and that Charlotte "needed" me. When I heard this I was mad that I had been judged by this other mom. I started to think of all the ways that I thought she was a worse mom than me. I went on in this rage for about 12 or so hours when I finally came to my senses and said "who cares?" I realized that I really did not care what this other woman thought because I knew I was trying to do my best for my kids and that Mike and I had to make decisions that we thought fit our family best. Maybe I'm not home 100% of the time, but there are a lot of pros that come out of that too.
I hear a lot of SAHMs judge working moms (and maybe vice versa), but there are just so many hundreds and thousands of factors that go into what will make our kids well-adjusted adults that it's impossible to say who comes out on top for what reason. We're all just trying to do our best.
When I went back to work, I thought a lot about you and other working moms I know and how I knew they were still great mothers. That gave me a lot of strength to go forward.
And you are right about what is important. I struggle with that. I hate having a messy house, but realistically, I cannot have a clean house, prepare healthy meals, work, exercise and spend quality time with my kids. It's just impossible.
Let's make a pact: I'll have a messy house, if you will. ;)
Deal!!! I am really jealous of your work situation, to me that would be perfect. Still time at home with kids, but, also time to use your hard earned skills as an attorney. All this judgment just gets old doesn't it? Stay at homes moms are great and so are working moms, just different. Charlotte was fine and will be fine don't let those other women get you down!
I'm holding up my end of the deal right now! :)
Thanks. We all do our best and I hope our kids will appreciate that when they are parents themselves.
Amen sister. I have a closet full of empty picture frames. If you figure out a way to get those filled, let me know. :)
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